The roles that neither Bob nor Linda ever wanted became their identities. Linda felt regret as she became a stay-at-home mom, or in her moments of self-loathing, “a housewife.” Bob accepted an administrative position at Boston University in their department of Foreign Studies.
Being a stay-at-home wife and mother was exhausting. Bob had taken off exactly three days from work after little Jimmy was born. Linda had taken on the brunt of care for the infant, since it was what was expected. She had decided to breastfeed Jim, which had given Bob the excuse to extract himself from participating in the midnight feedings that were more like every two hour feedings.
Linda had struggled all that day getting Jim down. He had finally taken a nap, so she collapsed into the armchair by the TV and blissfully fell asleep.
“Linda,” a voice called out to her, as if from a long distance. Faint and muffled through the ether.
“Linda.” A bit louder now. Curious, she thought, Bob’s not due home for…
“LINDA!” So loud now it shocked her out of her sleep. Linda looked around, bewildered. She put her hand to her face, it was wet. She had been drooling.
“You awake?” Bob asked, looming over her.
“I am now.” Linda muttered groggily as she pushed herself up on her elbows.
“Is dinner ready?” Bob asked. Linda shot him a dirty look “Ok, ok.” Bob conceded “I understand, it’s just…”
“What is it, hon?” Linda asked, forcing a weak smile.
“I hate my job. I just hate it,” Bob said.
“I wish I could work,” Linda said. She walked to the little kitchen. She knew there was a box of Shake n’ Bake in the cabinet. She could quickly throw together a little meal.
“Adams is an asshole, who wouldn’t understand a good idea if it bit him in his pale white ass,” Bob said. This was not the first time Bob had complained about his boss. Bob was restless at heart, and found himself looking for something more, something different. It was hard for him to stay at a job position for long. There would always be reasons to leave.
“Try to make it work this time, hon.” Linda called from the kitchen, unwrapping the quartered chicken she had bought at Stop and Shop.
“I’m going to quit tomorrow.” Bob called back.
“Don’t.” Linda walked from the kitchen, holding the Shake n’ Bake bag in her hands, complete with the chicken and the herb and spice dredge. “Please, not again. I can’t go back on food stamps, it’s humiliating.”
“Working in that office is humiliating!” Bob shouted. “I’m smarter than anyone there. It’s a waste of my intellect and my time.
Linda absentmindedly shook the bag of chicken. “I’m begging you, Bob. Don’t do this. Think of me. Think of Jimmy.”
“I’m always thinking of Jim,” Bob said. “I’ve got no choice do I?”
“What does that mean?” Linda shook the bag.
“Nothing. It means nothing.” Bob slunk into the chair where Linda had just sat, he pulled his arm up. “What the?” It was wet from drool where Linda had slept earlier.
“Bob.” Linda still shook the bag.
“I’m not going to quit,” Bob said, sulking as he looked out the window.
“Thank you,” Linda said, still shaking the bag. She turned to walk back to the kitchen.
“I can’t,” Bob mumbled.
Bob’s eye wandered. Affairs started, affairs discovered, excuses and apologies were made. Then the cycle would begin anew. Linda had bought into this life. She was pot committed so Linda turned to her kids. Two years after Jim was born, Bob and Linda decided that little slim-Jim would benefit from having a little sister. This time, getting pregnant was not so easy a proposition, it had taken them the better part of a year to get pregnant. After many tries, three years later little Lyndsey Anne was born.
Bob styled himself as the pater-familis. Bob Sutton needed the world to see him as the great dad. He craved the validation and became churlish and sullen when he thought he was not appreciated. The kids, Jim and Lyndsey, could not predict what might send their father into a silent sulk. It might be the lack of a thank you over his magnanimous decision to stop on the side of the road for fresh-squeezed orange juice. It might build over the miles of a road trip to visit her parents until it exploded in a long tirade about the selfish nature of his kids, his wife, his boss, and the general misery of his so-called life.
When Bob came home from work, excited and happy for once, Linda could hardly be blamed for getting caught up in his excitement. While Bob could be selfish and petulant, he was very charming. Bob had a way of sweeping everyone up in his passions. The family rode this ride in queasy solidarity, the highs exhilarating and the lows terrifying. Bob Sutton left home one day, just a seed of a thought germinating in his mind, and by the time the commute was over, that seed had grown into a fully formed idea. When he stepped through the door, it was set in stone. and he was utterly convinced that he was right. Bob had been presented with the business opportunity of a lifetime, and he was hell-bent to sell it to his family.
